You have to remember that you cannot fundamentally change people, though you can influence them to change their behaviours (and to do this you have to constantly communicate with them and feed back to them). You can, however, change yourself, and using affirmations is one way to do this. We use affirmations because our brains will respond to whatever we tell them. The affirmations go into our subconscious part of the brain where our deep-seated beliefs are kept.
Affirmations are statements that you repeat to yourself on a daily basis to increase your confidence and self-esteem, so that you believe them and your brain takes note of them. Thus they become your beliefs and your negative gremlins are changed or disposed of.
If you constantly tell yourself things like ‘I can’t ask for a rise because I’m not worthy’ or ‘my boss is going to be mad if I speak up’ or ‘it would be easier to just go along with them’, then you are only reinforcing your negative gremlins. To help tame the gremlins, use affirmations such as: ‘From now on I will speak up for myself in an assertive way to get my point across calmly and succinctly.’
If people at work are annoying you, for whatever reason, and you have told them how you feel about it but they continue to act in the same way and are definitely being unreasonable, ‘out of order’ or disrespectful, you can change the way you react to them and whatever it is that upsets or annoys you by positive affirmations.
For example, some bosses might upset you by continually checking on you and looking over your shoulder to see if the work is done even though they have not had any reason to doubt your efficiency from past experiences with you. First of all you should tell them that their actions make you feel they don’t trust you; that their interference is actually making you delay the delivery of the work; that you feel they lack confidence in your abilities. Assure them that you will tell them if the work cannot be done on time. If they continue to keep checking on you and chasing you for work, then you
can change the way you react to their actions and words. You should say to yourself:
My boss’s reactions are not going to affect me; I do not take it personally. I have confidence in my abilities and I will get the work done on time. It does not worry me that my boss feels a need to keep on monitoring me. It makes no difference to the way I work and eventually s/he will come to trust and appreciate me because I constantly deliver on time. The way you react to people at work can have a massive impact on your working life, happiness and effectiveness. We really do have an ability to change our response and reactions to how other people affect us and our emotions.
If you prefer to make smaller affirmations that are easy to remember then you can simply keep saying to yourself: ‘I am not taking anything said to me personally or to heart.’ This is a powerful affirmation that you need to believe and act upon. Too often we do take things to heart and dwell upon what people have said to us, and later we think ‘why didn’t I say this…’, ‘why didn’t I say that…’ – we get more and more ‘wound up’ as we think about it and our work and our professionalism can suffer.
Having the belief that ‘I am not taking anything said to me to heart or personally’ will relieve you of a lot of heartache, unnecessary worry, wasted time and energy.
You should also support your affirmation so that you will definitely believe it, with the positive outcomes and benefits of believing what you are telling yourself. For example, you will be able to get on with your work much faster and be able to meet your deadlines if you ignore what is being said rather than letting it worry and annoy you.
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